Ugly people are lucky. They have no chance of getting raped.
I wonder why facebook gives you the option of "liking" ur own status. Of course I like my own status cos I'M F*CKIN AWESOME.
"Suck my d*ck." "Sorry, my mom taught me not to put small things in my mouth."
Hey, are you single? No, I'm plural
"You look like a Barbie!" "Thanks, tall and beautiful right?" "No, plastic and without brain."
Teacher: Can you explain why you failed the test? Me: Can you explain why you failed to educate? *feelinglikeaboss*
Dear iTunes, Please realize that when I put you on "shuffle" I mean "play all of my favorite songs". Sincerely, skip... skip... skip...
I don’t even feel like a “friend” to some people. I feel more like an option or someone they run to when they need something.
"Final Destination 5"....well someone doesn't understand the meaning of "Final."
Edward isn't a vampire. He lives in a forest. He doesn't eat people & he sparkles. HE IS OBVIOUSLY A FAIRY
Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered "Was I drunk the entire relationship...?"
Seriously, it's 2011. Can we please get some waterproof phones? I'd like to text in the shower. ♥
When a girl says: “don’t worry about it.” you better f*cking worry about it. ♥
First week of school: Bitch I'm gonna work so fucking hard! I'm gonna get straight A's! Second week of school: Screw this shit, I give up.
Those times when you see a hot guy, and you just want to scream "OOH CHILD, YOU FINE."
Saying The Entire Alphabet... Because You Can't Remeber What Letter Comes Next.
HEY IDIOT, Shut up and kiss me.♥
Grandma Moment: "FREEDDOOOMMMM!!!!!" "Grandma please, put on your bra!"
BRB, I want to take a bath :)....... LOL JK, I JUST DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.
Dear Mosquito, my blood is very valuable. Back off. Sincerely, Annoyed Human. P.S- I think I squished your sister
OMG WALKING CARROT! Oh wait, that's just a girl with cheap fake tan......
I wish Facebook had a relationship status that said: "Forever alone with 16 cats."
Don't you just hate it when 9 year olds have a better phone than you like, who are you gonna call kid? Cookie monster?
When a boy complains too much about "life is too short" and you're just like "AND SO IS YOUR PENIS.”
I was normal until............................................................. bullshit, I was never normal
Hey girl, nice panties! Oh........ THEY ARE SHORTS? Slut.
I wonder why facebook gives you the option of "liking" ur own status. Of course I like my own status cos I'M F*CKIN AWESOME.
"Suck my d*ck." "Sorry, my mom taught me not to put small things in my mouth."
Hey, are you single? No, I'm plural
"You look like a Barbie!" "Thanks, tall and beautiful right?" "No, plastic and without brain."
Teacher: Can you explain why you failed the test? Me: Can you explain why you failed to educate? *feelinglikeaboss*
Dear iTunes, Please realize that when I put you on "shuffle" I mean "play all of my favorite songs". Sincerely, skip... skip... skip...
I don’t even feel like a “friend” to some people. I feel more like an option or someone they run to when they need something.
"Final Destination 5"....well someone doesn't understand the meaning of "Final."
Edward isn't a vampire. He lives in a forest. He doesn't eat people & he sparkles. HE IS OBVIOUSLY A FAIRY
Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered "Was I drunk the entire relationship...?"
Seriously, it's 2011. Can we please get some waterproof phones? I'd like to text in the shower. ♥
When a girl says: “don’t worry about it.” you better f*cking worry about it. ♥
First week of school: Bitch I'm gonna work so fucking hard! I'm gonna get straight A's! Second week of school: Screw this shit, I give up.
Those times when you see a hot guy, and you just want to scream "OOH CHILD, YOU FINE."
Saying The Entire Alphabet... Because You Can't Remeber What Letter Comes Next.
HEY IDIOT, Shut up and kiss me.♥
Grandma Moment: "FREEDDOOOMMMM!!!!!" "Grandma please, put on your bra!"
BRB, I want to take a bath :)....... LOL JK, I JUST DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.
Dear Mosquito, my blood is very valuable. Back off. Sincerely, Annoyed Human. P.S- I think I squished your sister
OMG WALKING CARROT! Oh wait, that's just a girl with cheap fake tan......
I wish Facebook had a relationship status that said: "Forever alone with 16 cats."
Don't you just hate it when 9 year olds have a better phone than you like, who are you gonna call kid? Cookie monster?
When a boy complains too much about "life is too short" and you're just like "AND SO IS YOUR PENIS.”
I was normal until............................................................. bullshit, I was never normal
Hey girl, nice panties! Oh........ THEY ARE SHORTS? Slut.